Friday, 2 January 2009

a new year

The morning of 1st Jan was greeted with some amazing rejuvenating sunshine and a nice blue sky. I hope this signals a bright year ahead for everyone. i didn't spend new years eve in hk in the last few years and last year i was watching two movies at home. this year i hung out with my school friends after midnight for a late dessert round. and after being prompted to do a review i also quietly undertook a review of 2008 in bed.

A year can be just a number, but there are also so many memories underneath this innocent number. My friend said it was a generally good year for him, and i found myself instinctively saying my year has been a terrible one except for the graduation. I was a bit startled by my own response, a very negative one.

Maybe i can blame it on oxford again lol how this place has depressed me and crowned me with such a negative outlook. as another friend said, no one seems to understand what we've been through. i have very little faith in people understanding each other - we can only try i guess.

Worse still it was probably an unnecessary negative emotion, without reason, without even a plausible explanation. i tend to overanalyse things and think about the same questions for my whole life. dont really want to go into it but i'm glad 2008 is finally over. i have been waiting long enough.

the more important realisation my quiet reflections gave me was how incredibly lucky and annoying i am. I have a most amazing amazing amazing amazing family and loads of great great great great friends. I have really good opportunities and everything can be regarded as plain sailing for me all along i suppose. I probably have everything i can possibly need but theres still this ridiculous lingering unhappiness. I really have nothing to complain about, and must** be a better person to deserve all this great fortune. and thats my new year resolution. I should stop fretting over nothing, and I should be a 'better' man.

This is to say thank you for everyone who has been bearing with me for so long.